To U

It was one of those muffled days which zips around me in black and white streaks as I tread its cobbled alleyways in a perpetual state of deferred suspension. People zooming past with their lattes and their kids and their bright sunny faces moistened with a million emotions. The scattered flimsy clouds over a self-absorbed blue sky, the birds in aerodynamic formations, the capped ocean swelling below a melting Sun, the brisk breeze in which precipitate a million different voices of a thousand different people all with substantively the same general life, the foamed top of an espresso in a white cup with a chipped handle revealing brown ceramic beneath, the blonde with the Aviators, with the attitude and with the insecurities which she shares with other blondes with Aviators and attitudes, the shade below a lazy tree which is mottled by the Sun shining through its foliage, its single leaf translucent green twinkling at its tip and alone among uncountable others which seem exactly the same as the one, the sunny house with the cute red wooden door and the white picket fence which is hardly white anymore, John Doe's love for Jane Doe lovingly scratched on the concrete pavement just below my feet, all the people who have plans to attend to, determined to have the fun which must be had on a sunny day like today, the inky dark night with its friendly street-lamps and its illuminated, boxed, and windowed lives, the silhouettes of trees and of lamp-posts and of derelict buildings and of sad looking, slow moving homeless people, fancy new cars cutting through the silence by their rude yellow lights and their alpha male engines, lives, complete with all the emotions that will forever be unknown to me hanging in the sky all around in little puddles of yellow light. Just one of those days when I experience an infinity without really experiencing any of it. Rather I sit on the proverbial parapet wall of life with my legs dangling on the other side, hands clenched behind my back and eyes closed, and wait for the confusion to subside, for the next day which will pull it all together and back within the perspectives of reality.